Two ways we confuse identity with activity (and why knowing this will change your life)

Do you dream of a time when you’ll be REALLY significant?

One day…

I’ll do something really useful for God.

I’ll quit work and go to Bible college.

I’ll help the poor.

I’ll open a home up for women suffering from domestic violence.

One day…

Or do you feel crushed by expectations that you place on yourself or you feel from others to do something REALLY significant in your life?

Perhaps more than being a stay at home mum, or more than doing your 9-5 job, more than…

1. You don’t have to do anything to get God’s approval

Identity comes before activity in the Christian life.

We see this in the Bible.

God affirmed Jesus at his baptism before he had done anything! Not one little miracle. ‘This is my son, with whom I am pleased’.

Once God had affirmed who he was, he then went on and did what he did.

"You aren’t what’s been done to you but what Jesus has done for you.
You aren’t what you do but what Jesus has done.What you do doesn’t determine who you are.
Rather, who you are in Christ determines what you do”.Mark Driscoll

Do you believe that God is pleased with you, not because of what you do, but because of who he has made you to be?

That is the goal of the Christian life.

Not doing, but becoming.

Not striving, but resting.

So keep dreaming…but don’t let it define your identity

Keep working….but don’t feel like you have to live up to your or anyone else’s expectations.

2. Your ministry is not your identity

However for some, you love your work. Things are going well. You may be a pastor, a youth leader, a school teacher, a doctor, a…

And when it’s all going well, life is rosy.

A good day at work and we feel great.

The problem is that we can gain our significance from our achievements. As our achievements mount, our sense of being significant, of changing the world we live in, can grow.

And we can start to feel that we are more accepted by God because of how well we are doing.

And slowly but surely, ministry, work and even family can gradually become our identity.

This is a fundamental error.

And we don’t often see it until we have a crisis. Until our achievement dips, or we are let down by a system, or we lose our job, or we make a mistake.

And our identity takes a hit. This might show itself in

a constant need for reassurance and affirmation

a need for recognition before others

a crisis when you don’t perform or have a tough appraisal

Because when your identity is at stake, these things become an attack on the core of your being. 

Let your true identity feed your activity

But if you are a Christian, your identity is in Christ. You are adopted (Ephesians 1:5), Accepted (1:6), Loved (2:4), Exalted (2:6) – just read Ephesians for many, many more.

When you know your true identity, it changes everything.

It means you are significant whatever your achievements may or not be.

It means that your ministry may have ups and downs, but your identity, your value, your significance as a child of God is absolutely unaltered.

I truly believe that believing this is a key that will unlock so much potential and release people to be who they have been made to be.

Because when you know who you really are, you’ll know what to do. 

WHEN CHRISTIANS LIE TO EACH OTHER

‘Loved the sermon’

‘You’re such a great singer’

‘You were born to do children’s work’

‘You want to do cross-cultural mission? That’s amazing!’

My first sermon was an absolute wreck – but it has taken me years to drag it out of someone that that was the case. How I wish they’d told me…

 

I wonder how many people are going around believing they are a born preacher, or born worship leader, or born sound technician….and all the while people are too scared to tell them the truth?

 

How many of you have pursued something for years when finally someone has told you that you should do something else?

Why do we lie to each other (and yes, not saying something is just as bad)?

 

Perhaps it’s because Christians are too ‘nice’

We’re not brought up to be cutthroat. We like to give people opportunities (and rightly so). We want to be encouragers. We take seriously warnings to make sure we live in unity, that we speak in love to one another,

 

Perhaps it’s because Christians are scared

Scared that we’ll damage someone, that we’ll scar someone for life. This is probably because we haven’t got a relationship with that person which gives us permission to speak into their life.

 

But you know what I think is the real reason?

 

We’ve sold out to a church culture rather than scriptural truth. We’ve fallen into a cultural trap where we only say what we really think behind people’s backs. And worst of all, we choose to misinterpret the Bible to support our mistaken view.

But since when does unity mean that we only say nice things to one another?

Since when does speaking in love mean flattery or giving selective feedback? Isn’t love more than making someone feel good about themselves?
Since when does thinking of others as better than myself mean we won’t give ‘negative’ feedback?

 

What's the result?

MANY people are stuck wondering what they are good at. They are confused about what their gifts are. They have received either mixed messages, or told they are gifted in an area when they perhaps know deep inside they are not.

Deep down people are looking for guidance. And God has put us in community so that we can do this. Not so that we confuse each other more.

I’m convinced we wouldn’t need so many spiritual gift questionnaires if we only tried stuff and were then honest – honest with ourselves, and honest with others.

 

So how are we to speak truth to one another?

 

1) Gain permission

Care about that person. Spend some time with them. Get to know them. If the only thing you say to them that week is to cast doubt on their life-long calling you will not gain a favourable response. But when you’ve spent time with them, observed them, shared life with them, encouraged them – then you are in a better position to challenge.

 

2) When you take something away, put something back in

Feedback should never be ‘negative’. If we feel something has not gone as well as it could, be ready to say what did go well or what other options that person could pursue.

3)  Speak the truth in love

If we really love the person we will speak truth to them. But we will do so in love, with their best interests at heart. This will mean we do so. It will not be public, rash, thoughtless or unkind, but in privacy, after due thought, respectfully and gently.

4) Don’t surround yourself with people who say what you want to hear

If everyone you ask for counsel says nice things about you, you probably aren’t asking the right people. Make sure that at least one person in your inner circle is giving you balanced feedback.

 

They will make you uncomfortable. They will sometimes upset you. But they are invaluable to you.

So as a Christian who believes that God speaks to me through others, please give me constructive feedback. Speak to me carefully and gently. Don’t destroy me.

But please, don’t lie to me.

 

 

Desecration and Titillation

by Tim Challies (reproduced with permission from http://www.challies.com/articles/desecration-and-titillation)

Pornography is ubiquitous today; addiction to pornography, especially among men, is equally widespread. Young men are often introduced to pornography long before they are able to understand what it is and what it means. Many a young man’s first awakening to sex and sexuality is by exposure to pornographic sex and nudity. This is sadly, increasingly, the case with women as well.

Some Christians can take a kind of refuge in the fact that so many others share in the struggle. “We are all in this together” can minimize the weight of it. Yet the ubiquity of porn and porn addiction does nothing to lessen the horror of it. I want to ask you a question. But not quite yet. Read on…

 

Desecration and Titillation

There is an inescapable consequence to the fact that human beings bear the image of God: there is nothing God values more than human beings. Bearing God’s image is an extraordinary privilege and brings with it extraordinary worth. Jesus asked, “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but forfeits his soul?” If you were to accumulate the wealth of Bill Gates and add to it the wealth of Solomon, you would barely be scratching the surface of the value of a soul, of a person. Wealth will fade. It will rust and decay and be lost. People are eternal. When all of that wealth is gone, the soul will live on.

God says there is nothing in all creation he values more than human beings. And if this is true, there can be nothing more abhorrent to God than the desecration of human beings. There is nothing that displays greater spite toward God than destroying what he considers most significant. As man rejects being made in God’s image, there necessarily follows a culture of death and desecration.

When you look at pornography you are watching the violation of what God considers more valuable than anything else he has created.

It is a violation of all that person is, for sex is not only skin-deep but soul-deep. You are not only watching it but enjoying it, and not only enjoying it but being titillated by it.

 

God says “I value her above all else because she is made in my image, in my likeness.” You watch her being humiliated and violated and desecrated and all the while fantasize about doing the same.

 

God says “Of all I created there is nothing with more worth and dignity,” and you delight in her desecration and indignity.

 

God says, “I hate it when her body and soul is stained” and you say, “It turns me on.”

I have an important question I want to ask you. But first I want you to consider another consequence of pornography.

 

Porn and the Portrait

There is nothing in all of creation with more value than human beings. There is no message more central than the gospel of Christ’s death and resurrection. Long before the cross, God decided that he would embed within humanity a picture, a portrait of the gospel: marriage. The great mystery of marriage, a mystery that could be revealed only after the cross, is that marriage has always been and will always be about the gospel. The relationship of a husband and wife is to be a constant pointer to the relationship of Christ and his church.

Sex is inextricably bound to marriage. The only right expression of sex is within marriage, for only then can the sexual relationship point us to the intimate love of Christ for his people. Sex outside of marriage tells lies about Christ, it tells lies about the church, and makes a complete mockery of the gospel. To tamper with sex is to tamper with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

When you look at pornography you are participating in this mocking of the gospel. 

You are watching the violation of the gospel, you are enjoying the violation of the gospel, you are being aroused by it. God says, “I have given you this great picture of Christ and the church” and you watch that portrait be defaced and violated and mocked, and you enjoy it all the while. God says, “The purity of the sexual relationship points you to the purity of the love the Saviour has for you.” And you say, “Right now I need a different kind of salvation from a different saviour. A more satisfying kind, and one Christ did not supply at the cross. I need salvation only this god can provide.”

The Question

Pornography desecrates the one thing in all of creation that God values above all; pornography makes a mockery of that great portrait God has given us of Christ’s faithful, compassionate love. And you who claim to love this God and who profess faith in this Savior, enjoy it, dedicate yourself to it, are titillated by it.

God wants you to know that there is forgiveness, that the same gospel you have mocked offers you forgiveness even for so grave a sin.

But I think God wants you to consider something else. He wants you to consider a warning:

No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. … Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him (1 John 3:6,8-10).

Here is what I want to ask you: Do you love pornography enough to go to hell for it?

 

 

 

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!

I love tennis court tantrums. John McEnroe gave some of the best. He was a brilliant player, but most associate him with his ranting at poor umpires, unleashing verbal volleys in their direction and (my favourite bit), destroying his racket.

McEnroe's phrase 'You cannot be serious' has gone down in folklore. I use it regularly when being beaten on a tennis court, blaming my racquet, the weather or the balls (not my ability, or lack of it, of course).

But can the phrase can be applied to our generation today?

 

Do we have difficulty engaging in serious thought about the meaning of life and spiritual truths?

 

Instant relief from seriousness

100 years ago serious thought wasn’t a problem. But now we live in an entertainment-driven, satisfy-yourself-in-an-instant culture.

You can watch any film you like. 

Listen to any music you fancy on your smartphone.

All at the touch of a button.

On that 5 minute bus journey home you can update your Facebook status. 

After watching disturbing developments in Ukraine we can flick channels and cheer ourselves up with an episode of Glee or Homeland.

 

This blog post will likely only get few clicks, especially from Facebook, which gives instant relief from the temptation of seriousness, especially posts that talk about it!

 

Serious = boring

People like me who talk of seriousness are equated with being boring. In fact, seriousness has been redefined from its dictionary meaning: 'concerned with grave, important, or complex matters, problems, etc.; weighty'.

"He's just so serious" is a phrase which really means "he's so boring, he's no fun to be around and he won't make you feel good about yourself". 

I’m not saying we should be 'serious' all the time - there are times for lightheartedness, relaxation etc (and even thinking about some ‘serious’ topics can be enjoyable!).

 

Why we should embrace seriousness

Issues of life and death, salvation, redemption and sanctification are weighty, important, complex matters which deserve and demand serious thought and contemplation. 

Great thinkers of years ago like Jonathan Edwards and modern-day authors like John Piper write as they do because they have often looked deeply into God’s word through the hardest of circumstances, asking God difficult questions and not letting go until they have an answer.

Where is our serious thought? When do we ever really get into the Bible, challenge our thinking, and ask God to reveal himself to us over several hours and not just several seconds?

 The Psalmist in Psalm 119 has clearly spent many hours and days considering God’s word. In Titus 2:7 the Apostle Paul urges those of the faith to ‘…show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned…'. The benefits to us as Christians are immeasurable.

 

 

Thriving in an entertainment-addicted culture

Entertainment – the mindless, trashy, superficial kind of stuff.  A drug as addictive and harmful as a class A drug like heroin - dulling the senses, bringing a momentary rush of pleasure or escapism.

 

Yes we can enjoy some of it. I’m a secret fan of Downton Abbey for goodness sake!

But we need to be careful; many Christians are just as addicted as everyone else.

As well as the Bible, consider taking some time out to read something more meaty; perhaps a classic book by someone like JC Ryle or Andrew Murray. Perhaps meet up with someone and discuss it, and learn how to balance enjoying our culture whilst not selling out to it.

Engaging with an entertainment-addicted culture

We need to use imaginative and relevant methods of reaching people where they are. Media such as blogs, podcasts, television and radio are essential to this. Keeping up with popular culture to connect with people where they are at is useful. Let's not let this be primarily for our entertainment and escapism, but with a strategic, focussed goal of reaching people for Christ.

 

John McEnroe was (and still is) a great player. His success came from serious dedication. His commentary success today similarly comes from seriously studying the game.

Yes, he is a wit. Yes, his tantrums could be funny. But he had to be serious to succeed.

 

Can you be serious?