Good advice: 4 things I learnt from a single mum with 4 kids

Are there conversations from years ago that you can recall even now?

What is it about them that makes them stand out?

15 years ago I was and about to go to medical school. One Sunday at church I was stopped by a lady. After a high flying academic career she was then bringing up 4 children under 5 by herself after losing her husband in tragic circumstances.

I remember her looking me in the eye and saying:

“John, when you go to medical school, will you commit to spending as much time studying the Bible as you do studying medicine? Your medicine is important. But being a doctor to souls will be just as important for you. Will you do that?”

I still remember it to this day. Word for word.

I confess that I didn’t do a great job. Yes I worked hard at uni, but I didn’t match it with Bible study. Or anyway near.

Perhaps the irony is that today I split my time 50:50 between my medical work and my church work – this was not pre-planned, but I know in God’s sense of humour that perhaps this was more a prophecy than simple advice!

So what has this taught me about giving advice?

1)      Speak boldly into people’s lives

I think about what this lady said to me often. I know that God was using her to speak to me about something, and it’s had a profound impact on me and the way I see life.

And we can do the same.

Do we believe that a single sentence from our mouth can change the course of history, even the course of eternity for someone we may speak to today?

That is what God’s Word does.

We must be ready to be bold. To risk rejection. To risk ‘getting it wrong’.

Because when it is right, God can use you to change someone’s story.

2)      Believe God can use you single mums

Ok, so I confess this subheading is an attention-grabber. Of course God can use us all - single, married, parents or otherwise.

The point is, you may feel that you are not much use in God’s kingdom.

Perhaps you used to feel that but now you feel you’re tied up - maybe with 4 kids, or family responsibilities, or illness. You feel out of the front line, that your day has gone. Or perhaps it’s yet to come in the first place!

But see how God used this lady in my life!? She didn’t resign herself to insignificance. She faithfully did what God gave her to do.

So trust God can use you.

He will probably use you more significantly in difficult times than when you feel you’re ideally positioned to be used!

3)      Advice: a dish best served face to face

Where do you get advice from? We seem to read or listen to hundreds of pieces of advice a day via blogs, articles, Twitter feeds, text messages or Facebook posts. But how much do we remember?

Of course, we can remember quite a bit. And of course God can speak to us via a computer.

But 15 years on I can still remember where we were and how I was feeling. I remember this lady looking me in the eye. I remember feeling a bit daunted. I can feel it, even now.

When we communicate via computers we can forget that people are spiritual beings. Consequently we can be more flippant, critical and freer with our words, not realising we are having an effect on the eternal destinies of those we communicate with.

So let me encourage you, when you have a word to speak into someone’s life, do it face to face if you can.

4)      Say thank you

At a wedding recently I saw this lady for the first time in at least 7 years.

As I told her about what I’m up to, I noted my eyes were filling with tears. I was understanding the effect of her words in my life as I spoke.

The impact she has had on me has been immeasurable. I am so thankful that she stepped out in faith and spoke those words to me all those years ago.

And I had the privilege of being able to encourage her.

With words that sum up what I still feel today:

‘Thank you’.

How about you?

What have you learnt from giving/receiving advice?